Abyss

Everyone falls into an abyss of despair and darkness at some point in their life journey. I, for example, have fallen into quite a few, but that’s probably just because I’m an inherently depressing person, sorry about that. The very first oubliette/ abyss that I can remember falling into, was when my first pet, a hamster named Crikee, died. She lived a very long time for a hamster, almost five years. However, one fateful day I woke up to find an unmoving, dead hamster in her cage. I couldn’t help but feel as though I had failed her in some way. My mom kept crying, and my dad didn’t really seem to show anything, but she was my hamster, I loved her, and I wanted her back. When we buried her in the garden, I made sure to give her plenty of her favorite treats (strawberry yoghurt things, they were quite good, I nibbled on them occasionally), and some of her normal food. She was an adorable little gray hamster, always sweet, never biting. I kept telling myself that she was reincarnated as a little bunny, and was given a good home to make another kid happy. The dragon in my dungeon of depression at that point in my life was responsibility. Crikee was the very first pet I ever owned and I continuously felt as though I had done something wrong. Maybe if I hadn’t let her out of her cage when my friend was over she wouldn’t have been stepped on, she had died a few months after that. Maybe if I gave her more attention she would have lived longer. It took me a few years even to realize that she really was only very old, and that was why she had gone. It wasn’t my fault, and realizing that helped me vanquish the beast of the abyss, and get on with my life. I now have a beautiful snake and two kitties, and they’re going to die of old age and no other reason, I will make sure of that.